Everything You Never Want to Hear in a Radio Ad, in Two Very Funny Videos Do any of these, and you&#

Everything You Never Want to Hear in a Radio Ad, in Two Very Funny Videos Do any of these, and you'll never win a Radio Mercury Award

Jim Elliott, the new global chief creative officer of Arnold Worldwide, and voiceover artist Paul Guyet made these two amusing videos (in what looks like Michael's house from GTA5) explaining how to win a 2015 Radio Mercury Award—by demonstrating all the terrible radio ad clichés that will guarantee failure.

Elliott (who's also the chief Mercury judge this year) even has a "NO" button to make his disapproval absolutely clear. Guyet is clearly having a ball with his impressions, and some of them are frighteningly accurate. Yes, nightclub ads really do sound that rapey.

The side effects portion of video No. 1 introduced the phrase "anal snoring" to my lexicon, which I consider a plus. Video No. 2 is more of the same, with Elliott and Guyet taking on AutoTune, bad writing and yelling, and long website URLs.

After all this, I'd be interested to hear what they like about radio advertising, because the tropes these videos are crapping on represent about 99 percent of it. Hey guys, how about some examples of what wins a Mercury?

Submissions are being accepted now through April 6 for this year's Radio Mercury Awards. Enter at RadioMercuryAwards.com.